How to Lose Weight the Easy Way

There are two things in this life that I enjoy doing. Eating and sleeping. The downside of those two hobbies is that they are a recipe for gaining weight.

Once you are overweight its a painful journey of self deprivation to get back to your ideal weight.

People are spending a lot of money to have gastric bypass surgery to help them to lose weight without needing all that self-control.

Well once again I have a solution. Remember I said that I like to sleep? Well how about starting a business where you put someone in a medically induced coma until they lost the weight they needed to?

You could hook up an I.V. to make sure the patient would stay nourished and hydrated. What about muscle atrophy? Got you covered there as well. If you have ever used a T.E.N.S. unit you know what I am talking about. A T.E.N.S. unit is a device that sends electrical impulses into the muscles. The muscles actually flex from the pulsing electrical current.

Once the target weight is reached you can wake the person up and they can enjoy their new life as a skinny person. A side benefit is that they will finally have caught up on all their sleep.

Healthy Bacon

People are always complaining when they have to pay a lot for prescription medications. The cost of them keeps going up, the price of health insurance is going up, up, up. Americans are getting heavier all of the time.

The time is coming soon when something will have to break. Health insurance premiums can’t be raised higher than people can afford to pay out of their salaries.

Some medicines are too expensive to be paid for solely out of ones pocket without health insurance. I wonder if drug companies have seen this far into the future? A lot of money goes into developing and testing these medications. If they can’t charge huge amounts for their products they will have to stop developing new medications.

I have a solution for at least one of these medications. Lipitor. I think Pfizer, the company that makes Lipitor should make a deal with bacon manufactures to create bacon with Lipitor already in the bacon. They could set the dosage based on how much Lipitor it will take to offset the adverse affects of the bacon.

People are always willing to pay more money for a premium product and since the dosage is based on the size of the bacon the percentage that the product would increase would be the same for thick cut bacon as it is for regular slices of bacon.

This type of thinking could help slim down the country, save time and remove the need to remember to take a bunch of pills everyday. Who knows, maybe all food industries would learn to negate the harmful effects of all its products before they get sold to the consumer.

Insulin/fluoride laced Snicker bar anyone?

Earth’s Rotation Sagging

I was listening to a science program today that has really gotten me worried. It seems that the The Obesity Crisis in the US is more serious than I first realized. I am not sure if its the lack of exercise, the bad nutrition or a combination of things, but overall our nation is getting heavier.

Its our right to be heavy right? It’s a free country. Well that’s what I thought. But it turns out that by becoming heavier we are actually causing a problem for the whole globe.

Scientists are saying that the increase in weight is actually causing the Earth’s rotation to sag. I am not sure of all the ramifications, but it seems like the Earth’s rotation has something to do with the seasons, temperatures and weather patterns we experience on this fine planet.

So forget about fossil fuels and carbon footprints, we need to go on diets. I am no slim Jim myself. So lets all go on a diet together and save the world!

P. S. If you need help I know someone.